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Just do the ‘right thing’… but what is the ‘right thing’?? | Welcome and General | ConnectedCoaches

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Home » Groups » Welcome and General » blogs » Krissi Paterson » Just do the ‘right thing’… but what is the ‘right thing’??
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Jim McRobert, Rich Bland and 4 others like this.

Comments (1)

Ralph Samwell said:

So, one of the best things written on CC, well done, impressive honesty, that illustrates many things, one of which being the depth of thinking that any coach that wishes to be any good must go to, although in my experience, the vast majority of coaches are dishonest and shallow. It’s the only reason I can think of as to why this article has had 123 views and only 3 likes, what’s not to like about this article is beyond me. Apart from that, I’d have thought coaches would support the tough job you went through, as we all have to make those decisions.

In terms of the problem with the side-line girl, there was only one mistake.
You momentarily forgot, it was a team sport.
If she is not part of the team, what did you bring her for?
If she is part of the team, then that TEAM which includes you the coach, has to accept, incorporate and make accountability and responsibility for that member, because that member is part of themselves. Deep down the basis of why you were in conflict is this, but you knew this, without me telling you.
“When you point the finger, three of your own, are pointing back at you.”
I’m not sitting here criticising, I’ve made this mistake, anyone that coaches to any level, probably will have, but most won’t even know, it was a mistake. Yet “cutting off your nose to spite your face” and pretending it’s for the greater good, is why it’s called The road to hell.

That’s why the base line philosophy, (believe in EVERY child) works, there is no conflict of thought in belief. Acceptance of your strong points whilst being in denial about your weak points, will always limit your success.
Your story illustrates this;
a) the girl didn’t get to represent, and the team didn’t win, so it wouldn’t have changed the outcome anyway, if she had played.
b) Theomania. It is entirely possible, yet less likely, that that girl could have made the difference and the outcome favourable, but more likely unfavourable, if you have assessed her ability correctly, I have no doubt, your assessment is correct. The point is, you stopped her, yourself and the team from finding out. I’ve had countless teams that have won, when being a “man” down; it’s the ultimate test of a true team, winning when the odds are against you.

What isn’t correct, is probability. There are infinite possibilities, within probability. As infinity is a large and complex number, randomness and chaos can exist within it, you’re right, it’s messy. As coaches, we can play God, assuming we are right, doing the right thing, when in actual fact, we are just playing the percentages. What’s going to give us the win rather than, what going to keep the team, a team. Whatever the outcome.
There is no right thing, just as there is no such thing as perfection, fairness or justice, these are all human constructs that enable us to ignore how random and chaotic, life can be. Of course this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Those things are the destination, the direction, we are just really bad at accepting we will never get there. Persians sew in a white thread, to their carpets, they are made so well that anything perfect offends god as only god is perfect, whereas a samurai sword is made perfect as it celebrates god.
I suspect, your dad, being an amazing man, was talking about ethics, another human construct, and something all coaches should listen to (your Dad), when he told you to do the right thing.

Children and your Dad get this, as you said: “If you’d asked the players, most of them would have probably volunteered to come off to let their friend on – because, although they enjoyed winning, for most it came second to playing a sport they loved with a group of their friends.”
Yet another reason to believe in every Kid (and your Dad). Children and parents tend to be naturally or age related ethical. The rest? not so. Ethics also solved the contextual problem.

There’s an Army test question for Officer recruits, which goes something like;
“You’re at a cross roads. Intel reports; “the left path leads to certain death for all your men or certain success. The other path guaranteed success but for only half your men, the rest will perish.” What path do you take and why?

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